Ilean's Adventures in Tortilla Flats, Arizona.....
Another Funny !!
A man had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing. So the man stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'd crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that would help sober him up.
Once outside, he stood up and fell flat on his face again. So he decided to crawl the four blocks to his home. When he arrived at his door, he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed, he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but quickly fell right into bed and was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
He was awakened the next morning by his wife standing over him, shouting, "so, you've been out drinking all night again !!" "What makes you say that?" he asked, putting on an innocent look.
"The pub called --- you left your wheelchair there again."
Posted on paraquad message board and contributed to me by my dear "crackpot" friend, Paul
More Funny Things That Have Been Said to Me
I was talking on the phone to my Man in New York. He was at work and was getting calls and paged while we were talking. Finally, he said, "Sweetheart, I'm going to have to cut you short." I just burst out laughing and said, "Baby, that's already been done."
I was recently in a cocktail lounge waiting to meet a friend and then we were to have dinner. My crutches were propped up against the wall behind the area I was sitting. A rather pompous guy came up and asked if I lived in the Phoenix area as he was in town for a golf tournament. Now, Phoenix is known for some of it's wonderful golf courses and great climate. We chatted for a bit and then he asked if I played golf since I lived here. I told him no but he insisted on wanting to teach me, it's a great game, etc. Finally, I said in golf terminology, "Well what is your handicap?" He said he had a very low handicap and was a very good golfer. I said that's great but I have a high handicap and I proceeded to lift up the corner of my dress and show him my missing leg. I really thought he was going to spew his drink all over himself.
Lisa and I were sitting at my computer doing something together on the web site. We had tech support on the phone and had probably done something that we either weren't supposed to do or did it incorrectly. Lisa looked at me and said, "Gee, you sure jump into things with both feet, don't you?" I about fell out of my chair laughing while she stared at me like I lost my mind.
Always trying to put my
" Best Foot Forward"
Hugs,
Ilean